"Listen with your heart, NOT your head"|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Monday, August 7th, 2006|
I don't have a lot of time to write this but just wanted to update you guys on what is going on. My stepdad recently had surgery on a valve in his heart. Well he was supposed to be released the next night. He now has fluid around his heart and has been in the hospital for 3 nights now. My mother isn't doing so good herself during this time. She's very very tired after her treatments, but she's a strong woman and pushing herself to be there for her husband in the hospital.
Everyone who hasn't gotten their package yet, please please be patient, it is on it's way to you and will get there very soon. I am sorry for the delays, but as you can understand, family comes first in my life.
If you need to contact me, please post here. I cannot access aim where I am at right now. Please make a comment. I am not ignoring you nor am I a deadbeat. I have 32,000+ positive feedback on ebay with only 2 negatives in the whole ordeal. this is from selling for the past four and a half years. The 2 negatives were stupid people trying to get their item and their money back. Or were someone where I posted a neg because they didn't pay and in return I got a neg. Please post here if you need me. Again I am sorry and I ask you to please be patient.
|Sunday, July 23rd, 2006|
Myspace login is temporary unavailable...arg.
This place ticks me off sometimes, there's ALWAYS something wrong with myspace! lol
On another note! My adorable (big) little brother (the dork). He's 15 and already 6ft 1in....two more inches to go and he will have caught up to my height (will have to break out those 5in heels so he can't catch up...lol).
Another one...Craig, I'm getting annoyed!!! I've been trying to get ahold of you for the past couple of days and can't reach you! HEELLLOOO!!! WHERE R U!!! lol. Answer your damn phone dude!! I know you read this!
Running a paper route with my mommy tonight! yay, just me and her time! She's much more calm-er when it's just me and her...dunno what that's about but oh-well! But paper routes are fun and it gives me a bit of extra cash (yay for extra cash).
Oh Melanie - Sorry about tonight, myspace was down (as usual) and for some odd reason I couldn't get stupid yahoo messenger to freakin load. Ya know, both of those just about drove me crazy tonight!
Ok...done with my silly ramblings! hehe Current Mood: awake
|Monday, July 10th, 2006|
|How About dem Apples!
Ok...so using this laptop really sucks. I shut off my internet seeing how I'm leaving in a couple of days. And this laptop will only go to certain sites before the wireless network totally cuts off. Sucks having to suck internet from neighbors especially when they have shit internet to begin with! haha. AOL/AIM does not load whatsoever and I'm unable to check it. Also for some reason yahoo doesn't load as well as a couple other random sites.
So all those dealing with me through my sales journal - purpleskysales. Please please please be patient until I can either get to the library here and check my email or my new place and get that set up. I'm not blowing you off, dear god please don't think that!!
Anyways, met this really cool person last night, not to mention cute as hell. My height (which is rare seeing how I tower over EVERYONE!!), nice build, etc. Just all around nice guy. We chilled for a few hours, bs'd about things, it was fun. Too bad I'm leaving...I wonder if he'd mind me kidnapping him and taking him with me...LOL. I don't run into that many people so honest about life, it's refreshing - especially after all the bullshit I've been going through! Bleh!!
I now have to figure out how to move most of my boxes that are in the living room and my room (these are very heavy) into the garage...and to get into the garage there are three steps you must go down! Hmmm...I maybe can slide them all the way there...dang...I should have just packed in the garage or not filled my boxes up so full! Oh well! live and learn!
There are so many people here I want to see before I leave and say bye. I guess that's what I'll be doing today. Tomorrow morning I have the insurance people coming out to take pics of the damage done to the inside of my car and whatnot. Hopefully they can fix it quickly and whatnot. When the thieves ripped out my stereo it looks like they could have damaged the inside of that area, we'll see! And my casing stuff that supports the door window from the car, they ripped that to shreds trying to unlock my car. Ugh! There's some really mean people out there. I've got a few creative ways to make them pay but I really don't feel like going to jail! lol
I got to call my mother later today and see how she's doing. She's been really tired lately so we'll see. Although she told me when I get there that we are going to Sea World...woot! Can't wait! And I get to go to Six Flags with her keeping my kiddos! I can't wait. She already offered, and my little brother will be there to help as well. I'm so looking forward to Sea World and Six Flags, it's been so long since I've went there!
Well I better get off this internet, it's already went offline twice since I've been writing this...someone's wireless connection sucks..lol. Plus I gotta get back to throwing toys in boxes! yay how fun right? (not) Current Mood: productive
|Sunday, July 9th, 2006|
I had Steve's son Justin last night again. God knows where his dad went to!
Omg...Justin's birthday was the beginning of July...Steve got him a package of bottle rockets for his birthday and that was it. Something that costs around $1.50. All he said was -Enjoy-. WTF IS UP WITH THAT??? Justin was telling me how much of an ass Steve's become and he's very diappointed in his dad. I could tell he was hurt.
So, I took Justin to IHOP last night, this boy eats weird..lol. All he wanted was a plate of bacon and a plate of hashbrowns! I asked him over and over if he wanted anything else and he said he didn't! Then we went to Walmart so I could get some duct tape. This is like 1am in the morning...if not a bit later!
At IHOP Justin was talking to me...telling me how he wishes what happened between Steve and I - didn't happen. And that he could openly come and talk to me besides hiding it because his dad will get pissed off. I told him to come and tell me if and when Steve finds out...and his dad hits him to let me know. I won't be able to stand by and not do anything about that. I'm sorry but I don't know what has happened to Steve and what's going on in his head but he SERIOUSLY needs to get his fuckin priorities straightened out. This shit is BULLSHIT. I love Justin like a son...he's a GOOD boy, very sweet kid. And I did nothing to Steve to warrant this. All I did was try to love that man, try to give him everything I had.
I told Justin, just because his dad and I aren't together, and even though Steve is like how he is, I will always love Justin and be there, even if I'm hundreds of miles away. This shit sucks. I could beat his dad over the head...I wish I could knock some sense into him, but when the time comes that someone does, boy do I wanna be there for that! I wanna be there when he wakes the fuck up and realizes what he's doing. He's hurting himself more in the longrun than he's hurting his son. Justin picks up on all of this. He's been talking with me about it. He just doesn't understand why his dad would do this. Did you know that Justin has only seen his dad FOR ONE HOUR in three weeks...?? OH MY GAWD!! I would NEVER be able to do that to my children. And this is by Steve's choice. Steve has a choice in this, whether to see his son or go gallavanting god knows where. And he chooses the 2nd...wow, what a dad is what I think.
This whole ordeal just pisses me off and makes me want to cry for Justin all at the same time. I was talking to my mom about it and she told me to back off and not see Justin. I can't do that when he calls me at 1am and tells me he's locked out of his house and he doesn't know where his dad is. What the fuck am I supposed to do, just leave him out on the streets after curfew for the cops to pick him up? Let him wander outside, it gets cool at night here! NO I won't just back the fuck off, I'm sorry but I love Justin way too damn much to tell him I can't do that for him. My door will always be open for that boy. God how I hate his father right now. I hate what Steve is putting this boy through. If only Steve could look through my eyes and see what I see when I look at Justin and hear him talking about all this and his dad. But I'm not even sure Steve would wake up then and realize what he's doing. He's pushing his son far far away from him, very quickly.
Steve's girlfriend, who used to be his ex girlfriend...Kathy...bitches and tells everyone the only ppl I can get as friends are Teens and that I hang around with too many teens. Some of the teenagers here, come to me to talk to me about life and stuff. They ask my advice! My babysitter does the same damn thing. She's going through some rough spots in her life, if I can be there for these kids, and make a good impression on them to choose the better part of life, you're damn right I'll hang out with them. If they have one person in their life to look up to, I'll be damn glad to be that person. I'm sorry, but I have a big heart, especially when it comes to kids. I have two children of my own who will be going through the teenage years. This gives me some experience too on how to handle that when mine get older. I think Kathy is envious of what I have and what I can do, and she just needs to back the fuck up off me. Justin is like a son to me, of course I'm going to be there for him. I just wish I knew what to do with Steve...how to impress on him about what he's doing and what it's doing to his son.
Makes me sad... Current Mood: irate
|Thursday, July 6th, 2006|
So a friend of mine gave me some clothes for my kiddos and for me and WOW...this is a HUGE box full! Now I gotta go through it. Her daughter and her alike both wear the more expensive brand names..lol. Which is fine with me, but I normally get my kids walmart type clothing because of how fast they can ruin an outfit..lol.
Still putting stuff out for my yard sale tomorrow. I ran out of hangers...lol. Not good. I have a lot of stuff I still need to hang up!
Ok...back to slaving away in the garage! Oh and of course packing more boxes...dangit - that's what I forgot! MORE TAPE!!
|Wednesday, July 5th, 2006|
Called my insurance company about the windshield this morning. They are having someone come out on the 7th of July to fix it! yay!! No cost too, insurance covers it all! Yay again!!
Mailed out several packages from swaps/buys and some letters too today (finally)!!!
I wish the lawn mower was in the shed so I can park my car in the garage. I'd feel safer with it there. There's been some kids running around the neighborhood after curfew. Now I wouldn't mind it normally and it wouldn't bug me. But these are bad kids! There's been reports of them doing stuff to people's cars, lawns, and houses in this neighborhood. I hate it here! It was really nice when I first got here and now it's gone down the drain. Maybe it's just my attitude towards this place and everything that has happened to me. It will definitely feel good to finally move!
I've got a car payment coming up and a few other bills...YUCK. At least I won't have to worry about the few other bills ever again as they will be paid off after this one! Yay! Now the car payment thing is a totally different subject...but it's almost paid off. Paying $180 a month takes a while to pay off something...lol. But I have been putting more down a month when I have it, which is good!
I got a job waiting for me in Texas, and I'll be living with my mom, stepdad and little bro, just for a couple of months until I can get me a small apartment. Living with parents is rough! Especially if you've lived alone for so long! I just want to be close to my mom so I can be there for her during her treatments. She's worrying me a lot with this...it was a huge shock to all of us. She's a very strong woman and it takes strength to go through this, I just hope she comes out strong too and this doesn't kill her spirit. As I know this can get a person really down and make them weak and such. I'm just worried for her.
I can't wait to get there, now I'm just finishing up the packing, moving all the boxes out in the garage, stacking them up all neatly behind the staircase to get ready just to put into a truck, when I come back to get all my stuff. That will be about a month after I get there and get settled in. I want to do it before my kiddos start school though. Although they will have plenty of clothes. I'm going to load up all the clothes into the car and some other junk. Pack my car as full as it can get. And I'm DEFINITELY taking the computer. That's my lifeline! And then I can reset up my ebay account (I had one long long time ago but I cancelled it due to moving again..lol). That will be good. I've got a lot of DIY stuff I wanna list. Lots of jewelry and some stuff I made on the sewing machine. Hopefully it will sell. Get me started off with a bit of cash!
I do want to go to Six Flags as soon as I get there though!! Woohoo! Take some friends with me and such. My mom already said she'd watch the kiddos for me so I'm really looking forward to that. And I want to take a trip to Cali to see some friends, although I'd have to take the kids with me for that one since I plan to stay over there for a few days! And I don't want to burden my mom with them for that long with all that she's going through. I mean my little bro can help her the day I go to Six Flags and I'll be about 3 hours away. Which is a bit different than hundreds of miles away!
Ok...so now I think I'm rambling and going on and on..lol. Current Mood: exhausted
|Fireworks + Bad Night = One Bad Drink
Ok...so I took the kids up to MTSU to watch the fireworks last night right...we got out of the car, made our way down to the grassy area with our blankets. Watched the small yet pretty show of fireworks. Everything was going good for me..
We walk back to the car, I'm getting in and glance over at my windshield because I saw it reflected something...and lo and behold what do I see? MY WINDSHIELD IS FREAKIN CRACKED!!!! Cracked you say? Yeah...from the bottom down to the top...a thin FREAKIN LINE...WHAT IN THE HECK??? Omg My night just got worse, and worse I mean REALLY REALLY BAD!! I can't feel the crack from the outside or the inside...so it's cracked inside...even worse...
WHY does everything have to happen to me?? I do not have the money to replace a windshield, these things are beyond my money source...(and by that I mean I have like $1 in the bank). I finally get to where I'm happy about moving someplace where I will be even happier and things go wrong! First my drivers side window, now my windshield...is someone out to get me or something? JEEZ!!
Now what? I'm sure after last night and the previous days I can take just about anything...BRING IT. Current Mood: pissed off
|Monday, July 3rd, 2006|
Man I feel blah and not sure why (no I'm not pregnant..lol).
I think it's because I'm so close to leaving here and yet it seems so far away...I just want to get out of this place, start fresh, in a new place. This place here just seems to get to me, brings me down. I'm normally one of these people who always has to be doing something it seems, but lately I haven't been wanting to do anything. I can't really describe the feeling of it, it's just blah.
I've still got quite a bit of packing to do. I hate HATE packing. It's mainly the kid's room that I've got to get done, I'm dreading that. I may just put a couple of boxes in there and tell them to start throwing things in it..lol.
I wanted to go into Nashville tomorrow night but I don't think I have the gas for it. The fireworks are always so pretty shot off the bridge downtown. I guess we'll just go up to the college here and watch them from sitting on top of my car. I think I may get some of those sparklers, hopefully the kiddos won't be scared of them!
I've got to start getting to bed earlier, but I've been having troubles sleeping. I'm one of those people that when it's dark and I'm trying to sleep, all I can do is think..lol. And it keeps me awake.
At least I've got some sale and swap stuff to package up. Then another package to create from a theme, that one should be really fun! Not sure exactly what I'll do yet but I have some ideas. Hopefully my swap partner for it enjoys everything!
I've got to go to Walgreens or walmart even and get a posterboard and make some yard sale signs, and some little yard sale stickers so I can start pricing items. Since most of my boxes are in the garage I'm just going to use them as tables! Hopefully I can get rid of most of my junk, I'd really like to get rid of as much as possible so I don't have to pack it all. The garage is so hot though so I may wait until night time to start going out there and doing things. It's been so hot here lately all I want to do is stay inside. I don't mind the heat, but the humidity here kills me.
I wish I had a magical fairy to go around and clean my house! I hate to vaccuum! Current Mood: numb
|Friday, June 30th, 2006|
|A bit bored...
|Your Passion is Red!|
You've got that spark - a good dose of intensity, power, and determination.
You do whatever you want in life ... to hell with what anyone thinks!
With so many interests and loves, you're always running around doing something new.
You have fire in your eyes, and it shows. Bet you're even wearing something red!
Current Mood: bored
|You Are a Bad Girl|
You are 30% Good and 70% Bad
You're a total bad girl, from your wild hair to tattooed toes.
But you're too badass to even care if you're labeled "bad"!
|Thursday, June 29th, 2006|
Got my car back, from my friend putting in the new window. I wish I knew who did that, I have my suspicions, but I'm not going to be accusing anyone till I know the facts.
I just don't feel like doing anything today. No packing, no cooking, nothing. I want to be lazy but unfortunately that is not an option today. Justin's dad is still out of town and he really doesn't know when he will return. Steve is being an ass, he needs to be here to provide for his son. Justin needed a few things and I'm going to take him today to go get them. And we're going to stop by the fireworks place and get some fireworks. I don't have a lot of money but Justin has always been like an extra son to me. His dad did me wrong and Justin agrees. He's so sweet, he came up to me when he saw me (this is after everything that happened with Steve and I and Justin not seeing me for 2 weeks because his dad forbid it) and gave me a big ol hug, telling me how much he missed me and loved me, and I looked down at him and he was crying!!! Omg, I don't know what Steve is trying to do but he's hurting his son more than anything!! I told Justin, no matter what, I will always be here for him, even if I'm hundreds of miles away I will still be there, all he has to do is pick up the phone and call me.
I gave Justin $10 yesterday for helping me pack and clean out the garage some. He wants me to take him to get some fireworks today. Usually when a parent goes out of town they make sure their child is well cared for, has a bit of cash, etc. Steve did none of this, just up and left. He never takes the time to sit down and talk with Justin, about what's going on in his life, I know more about his son than he does! One day he's going to wake up and I hope to god he can get Justin's forgiveness in all that he's done as it's going to bite him in the ass hard. I don't wish that on him but someone really needs to knock him over the head about some shit. He's 35 years old, don't ya think it's about time he got his life in order? Justin's mom left him with his dad when he was 2, so god knows where she's at, and I don't know what happened to Steve...but he needs to wake up and realize what he's doing.
I wrote Steve an email about the other night. Also telling him if he lays a hand on that boy and I find out about it I'm going straight to the police and Social Services/DHS. I will not stand by and watch Justin get beat for something Steve did. For being stranded, for him not being there for his son. This whole situation irks me and pisses me off. Justin is a good kid, he's very sweet and loving and just needs his dad to be there for him. Justin comes to me when he needs something, he comes to me when he needs to talk, etc. Steve needs to be that one Justin comes to. I love Justin to death. And this hurts me so bad. I just don't know what to do. Current Mood: pissed off
|Tuesday, June 27th, 2006|
I hate it when people judge another person without even getting to know that person. It really doesn't settle with me. I am one that doesn't judge people, no matter what they have done in their past. Past is past, this is the present.
|Monday, June 26th, 2006|
I have a new selling journal. All the things I have for sale are here. Everything that is up will be going towards my move to Texas to be with my mother during her treatments. http://purpleskysales.livejournal.com/
Is our dinner for tonight, mixed in with little pieces of chicken breast! I used to eat Ramen Noodles like they were going out of style years ago, then I got tired of them, and now I'm back to eating them?! lol And my kids LOVE them and it's quick and easy and I didn't feel like cooking anything big tonight.
Well at least it looks like I've done something in the packing area! Boxes lining my living room and the garage. This weekend I'm having a yard sale so hopefully can get rid of a lot of stuff I've got!! Thank goodness!
I so can't wait to get to Texas, I want to be there right now for my mom but I know that is impossible...so I'm just sending out my prayers and biding my time until I can be there!
Joey is supposed to stop out tomorrow night and chill with me, god knows what we'll do since I'm almost broke in the $ field..lol. Well all of it's put back towards this move so I don't really have a lot of "fun money". Which is okay seeing how I don't really go out a whole lot anyways.
I really don't want to go to work tomorrow...lol I've been enjoying my vacation time! Plus it's given me time to pack up some stuff.
Ok, now im just rambling with really nothing important to say so I'll go read a book for a bit, put kids to bed, hmmm...a bubble bath sounds really nice right about now...might do that and read a book too! Current Mood: blah
Gawd, I stayed up until 3, almost 4am packing and talking on the phone. What in the world is wrong with me? lol. *passes out from exhaustion* Current Mood: cranky
|Raising Money For Mom
I don't have pictures for them but will describe them as best as possible. Shipping is not included but it will not be much and yes I will combine shipping costs. I accept Money Orders and Cash (at your own risk, Please do not send paypal). All items are new or like new condition and described as such. If interested in an item either leave a comment here or email me at purplesk1ez @ aim.com about what item you'd like. If you are international, please let me know about that too so I can get the proper shipping cost to you. ( Clothes, Cosmetics, & MoreCollapse ) Current Mood: content
|Sunday, June 25th, 2006|
|WHAT??? Going Bat Crazy...and other ramblings...
Oh my...you know in this entire ordeal I don't ever remember signing up for drama lessions..lol
Now, why would I do something so childish that would ruin me? Why would I do something so childish that would have a chance for my kids to be taken from me? I don't think so.
They really need to be finding out what's going on and who did it instead of putting blame where it doesn't belong. They think they have it all figured out, whereas I have proof, proof of me and my friends. Before you start accusing innocent people in this, you need to have solid hardcore proof. It's all drama and I'm glad im gettin away from it!
This is driving me batfrickincrazy...it really is. Good thing I'm leaving soon!! In a way I don't really want to, only because of friends I have here and my father. He sure can be an ass but he's one of the best dad's out there..lol. But I think it's because we both clash a whole lot. He has his set of ways and I have mine...but that's expected in things like this.
On another note, my mother back to the doctor early next week to see what's in store for her. I so can't wait to get there and be there for her during this time. This is so stressing for me being so far away right now.
My living room is filled with with boxes! Ugh!! I don't have enough room to put all these. And I'm getting ready to have a yard sale at a friends house this weekend. We've already lugged over most of the stuff yesterday when I didn't have my kids with me. Thank goodness for grandpas!! I'm going to have to start lugging these boxes out in the garage and stacking them up out of the way. I need some newspaper or bubble wrap and lots of it!
Im going to miss this house, my dad's putting it up for sale this summer too. He's moving out to where his fiance lives, he practically lives there already! But I'm also glad I'm going back home, someone very dear to me, my mother, needs me right now. And I so can't wait to pull up in that driveway! Current Mood: irritated
|How More Stupid Can This Get!!
And yet again, I get dragged through the drama. Only in a different form!
Two officers showed up at my door this morning. Woke my ass up. I'm sitting on the couch as they are describing something that took place last night. Down at Steve's house. I had Jordan stay at my house last night. She's my babysitter, she was also helping me pack for my move to Texas.
Well they describe a scene that took place last night, saying someone went over to Steve's house and poured sugar all over cars that were parked there. I'm sitting here dumbfounded not even awake, then in shock that I would be accused. What the hell? These are some freakin childish games and I'm over them. Do you know how many teens run the streets in my subdivision at night, way past curfew? Why do he think I did any of this? I'm 26 freakin years old for crying outloud. Oh my lord this is some batcrazyshit. I have better things to do with my time than all this drama bullshit.
All this crap is childish, and I just don't understand why I would be accused of something...all I did was try to love that unloveable man. Well at least now I know to pick my boyfriends better don't I? lol. Current Mood: exhausted
|9 Years, 9 Long Years to be exact
This November it will be 9 years since Nick was taken from me. I can't believe it's been that long. I got a call from his parents today which made me think of him. They had asked me how I was doing, how my children are, etc. I must go see them before I leave. I remember it being so hard to even walk into that house after he left. The pain of seeing his pictures and his room, even his parents. It used to be so hard to drive down his street without tears falling. To this day I miss him, but not in the obsessed kind of way. Also, while I've been packing I ran across two shoeboxes full of pictures of him, his family, us, etc. I laughed and sniffed going through them and the memories. I must also go see his grave before I leave. Put some flowers and a picture on it as I used to do. Those were some good memories. I miss you Nick, and I hope to see you again soon. Current Mood: calm
Ya know...this he said - she said shit is really doing my fucking head in. That bitch needs to back the fuck off or either quite being such a pussy and come and tell me what she has to say to my face. Now really, a 40 year old woman cussing out a 26 yr old over the phone. Then hanging up because she's mad...mad at what? Herself because she can't do anything about it except cuss, over the phone no less. Jeez, what is this world coming to!! lol. She cracks me up, she really does.
Example: Say your ex girlfriend spreads these awful rumors around about you. She's telling everything who will listen how you beat her and her children. But then she's telling you how much she loves you and blah blah blah. And when you leave her because of her awful lies she begs and pleads for you to come back. Saying how you are her world, etc. Now honest to god, would you really want that kind of thing in your life? Or if you were really beating her, why in the hell would she want you back? Especially if you beat her children.
If any man touches my children in a harmful way, he better be prepared to die.
Another: She told a good friend's mother of mine she had cancer and was only expected to live a few short months. This was last year. She told her children this too!! Saying, mommy doesn't have long left to live. And she's still alive? What happened to her hair falling out from the chemo and radiation treatments? I know that ain't no damn wig. She doesn't look like she's been through chemo, she's not all worn down. I have had family go through treatments and they look like they are worn down, tired all the time. Hell! You said you were supposed to die last year, why ain't you dead yet? lol.
This woman has got it all!! All sorts of stories out there. And yet she's too pussy to fucking come up to me and say what she has to say to my face. Just because I stole her boyfriend, mind you ex boyfriend. Miss Drama Queen herself! Oh my lord has this woman gone crazy! That's okay, she can have her ex boyfriend back, because he's Mr Drama King. Those two were truely made for each other and I hope, dear god I hope they are happy together. And I do hope one day he wakes up and realizes some truths and it bites him in the ass so hard...but by then it will be way too damn late. Current Mood: amused